So, you may think it odd that a personal development coach is writing a guide about how to wallow. We are all about looking on the bright side, living your best life, greeting every obstacle with a smile and a plan, aren’t we? Well not this one. This coach not only condones wallowing; I encourage it! Let me explain…
When life is a bit crappity what do you usually want to do? Not a great deal I would bet. Maybe you slump on the couch under a blanket. Perhaps your way of wallowing is sitting in front of the TV binge-watching twaddle. Having someone metaphorically or physically bounce into your life like Tigger on speed telling you to pull yourself together, chin up, look on the bright side, etc. is likely to just make you cross. If you did it to me, you would probably get the same reaction as if you prodded a sleeping bear with a stick.
Remember yesterday’s ‘rest and reset’ post? Wallowing is akin to that. Stress is tiring. Worrying is tiring. Feeling glum is tiring. Therefore, your position of wallow on the sofa is beneficial – you are resting. When we wallow, we often ponder too. Mull over the stuff that sent us down into our funk in the first place. And this is where we can start to do some work.
Before you get really comfy and settled into your wallow pit grab a pen and some paper. As you mull and ponder, write stuff down. Don’t censor it, just whatever crops up. It may be work that is dragging you down, family, partner, health, money – the list is endless. But by emptying it out of your head and onto paper you are beginning to take a positive step forwards (without anyone hassling you and risking mortal injury doing so!).
Once you have written stuff down, have a nap. Come back to your musings after your nap and look at it objectively, see where you can make changes, explore what you want to keep as it is. Can you see that now you have gone from wallowing to having a constructive business meeting with yourself (even if it was done lying down!)?
Allowing yourself time to wallow can be productive – you get to rest and once rested, you can possibly see things a little bit more clearly. Don’t spend weeks there though or I will come and prod you with a stick! One of my horses, Ari, will not tolerate more than 5 minutes of wallowing. He is very funny, he gives me a look as if to say ‘oh dear, Mother needs a moment’ but if I get too mopey or clingy then he starts to nudge me, give me filthy looks and even pretends to nip me. I can send him round to sort you out if you need it
My book ‘How to Get Your Shit Together’ goes into this sort of thing in more detail so get on Amazon and download it 😉 Meanwhile, if you need to wallow show your nearest and dearest this post and tell them your coach says it is ok – for a little while at least!